As I sit here at Catholic Underground surrounded by hundreds of other Catholics I can’t help but feel a wonderful sense of fellowship with all my brothers and sisters. I came on a whim when I realized the date and time as I sat in my room getting my Sunday school stuff together. I came here hoping to fill the empty place that has been with me for a while. Only God can fill that place and I need to walk the path again. I love the universal-ness of the church the collection and variety of race, age and so on makes me feel so proud to be Catholic! Praise God!

It’s pretty cool how free you can feel when you reach a certain comfort level with a person. Now I’m not talking about just walking around in your birthday suit or something, I’m talking about really being able to be yourself. The freedom to let the true self show is a great thing, to have all the “good and bad quirks” embraced is a wonderful thing. It’s a great thing to be able to let the dork, geek, freak, jock, actor, whatever out and not be shunned or burned. To those of you I can be myself with thanks! Thanks for not running away when “I lose my sense of humor after 10:30″, or when I’m an Uber Dork, or when I’m just a raging mad man . . . thank you for being a friend.

To my partner in this mad endeavour,

Greetings and salutations! I just want to say, that even though I’m completely exhausted and about to fall on my face I’m still in my “oh so very happy place”. Mad we may be, but at least we’re having a fun time. Thanks . . . for being awesome! Now time for me to hide under my desk and fall asleep . . .

Yeesh courtesy of all the crap going on I’ve been able to not eat and sleep to the point where I’ve lost 15 pounds in about a month. Amazing what a little depression and sadness can do to one’s appetite, only problem is I’ve also lost muscle mass (not that I had much heh). Pants might need to be hemmed again – seems they don’t sit up as high on the ol’ gut now that the gut is smaller or maybe when I got them adjusted they got adjusted a bit long. Just have to eat smart and keep exercising – it’ll be nice if I can stay sub-200, been a while since I’ve seen a weight with a one handle.

So I spent New Year’s Eve with a good friend – nice and easy – damn good scotch, a cigar and Rocky Balboa. Yes I said Rocky Balboa aka Rocky 6. Yes I know 5 was a piece of crap and should never of been made but Stallone more than makes up for that mess with “Rocky Balboa”. It contains everything you could ask for – family, good fight scenes, witty dialogue (surprisingly written by Sly himself), great acting by the main and supporting characters. For me the scene that did it was the father son speech he has with his kid. For those of you who haven’t seen the movie and don’t want the speech spoiled for you stop reading, else:

I’d hold you up to say to your mother, “this kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.” And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilige. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that! I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain’t gonna have a life. Don’t forget to visit your mother.

The line that really does it for me though is:

You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!

Granted the whole monologue is great but that line was a clincher for me. If you haven’t seen it – I highly recommend it although only if you’re a Rocky I fan. If so you’ll remember why you loved the first movie after watching this one.

I love cheap tex-mex created by chinese people. It’s the greatest thing. Granted the stuff may not be all that authentic but hey its cheap and its good. I just stuffed myself with two chimichangas and a whole bunch of other things. Their food is actually healthy minus the chimichangas (which are fried). Usually I stick with the realtively lowfat fajitas but on a whim I wanted something big and fried – yeah I know great for my diet. I’m trying to get back in shape but I’m lazy and well just lazy – gotta get better =)

I love Nilla Wafers from Nabisco. Holy cow, I’ve gone through 3-4 boxes of these although I do need to wach ‘em down with my good old Lactate Milk. Man I swear that milk has been a god-send, it allows me to be a dairy guy again. For the lactose intolerant, I know you’re out there, there is help! Don’t try to deny that you are what you are, just accept it and move on with lactese pills and lactose free milk. Yum Yum